For all those who have not been listened to

Please Listen ~ a poem by a survivor

When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice, you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

Listen! All I ask is that you listen. Don't talk or do - just hear me.

Advice is cheap; 20 cents will get you both Dear Abby and Billy Graham in the same newspaper, and I can do for myself; I am not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and inadequacy. But when you accept as a simple fact that I feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I can stop trying to convince you and get about this business of understanding what's behind this irrational feeling.

And when that's clear, the answers are obvious and I don't need advice. Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what's behind them.

Perhaps that's why prayer works, sometimes, for some people - because G*d is mute, and he doesn't give advice or try to fix things. G*d just listens and lets you work it out for yourself.

So please listen, and just hear me.
And if you want to talk, wait a minute
for your turn - and I will listen to you.

by Author Unknown and adapted by A.E.S.T.

Foster Care

To Whom It May Concern,
At this time we are requesting to foster a child, and special needs are not an issue. This is a very big decision for both me, Nicholas Feldman, and my partner, Vanessa Castro. We have always wanted to have children while leading our successful lives.
Vanessa and I feel that now would be the perfect time for us to make the choice to foster a child. Vanessa is currently thirty seven years old and I am currently thirty five years old. We have been together for eight years, and the only reason we are not married is due to our own disabilities, which the government restricts us from marriage with income penalties.
Vanessa and I both have majors from UC Berkeley, and minors in education. UC Berkeley is the first place that we met and developed our own relationship. Vanessa and I were both founded on the principles of strong family ethics, morals, and to try and live the American dream. We know how many children from our places of origin in the United States are suffering without having a solid family unit. Vanessa and I have not only gotten our higher education, but we have succeeded at having a future, and living independently. We have both worked extensively with kids. Vanessa and I have both taught independent living skills, and Vanessa has worked in a classroom of children with special needs. Currently in my line of business, I work with over nine children who have Developmental Disabilities. There is nothing more in the world we would like right now than to be able to support and help a young person succeed who would otherwise fall through the cracks of the bureaucracy. We are very responsible and respectable members of the Berkeley community. There is nothing we can’t handle. A good example of this is my Cerebral Palsy, and Vanessa’s Cerebral Palsy. While Vanessa has more mobility than I do, she has a speech impairment that takes a while to get used to. Oftentimes, Vanessa will help me out with physical tasks that are difficult for me, and I will help voice what she is trying to say for those who might not understand right away what she is trying to say. I think ever since college Vanessa and I have had the Berkeley disability attitude of there is nothing we can’t do, and there is nothing that will stop us. We both manage our own care staff to help us with our own needs. We have both mentioned to our staff that we are considering foster care. They always smile and say “That’s all that’s missing in your lives!” We have a zest for life and an understanding of reality. We both understand that this is a big undertaking, and not to be taken lightly. We also know that a child would be mutually beneficially in our lives and also in his or her life. Our determination, our sense of humor, our ability to resolve conflict would all be cultivated in the growth of a child. We have the education; we have the resources to make it happen. We long for a child who needs us as much as we need them. We believe that having a child is a giant step towards our goal of extending our happy family. We have a large support network of family and friends. I should also mention that we have thousands of friends who keep in touch with us through email, facebook, around the world, and in our local community.
If you give us this opportunity, we are more than willing to take the love on and face any challenges to come. We understand what it means to be young, and what it means to go through everything that a child goes through due to the various demands in this life of ours. We certainly hope that if you give us a chance to succeed, we will give back so much more.
We look forward to hearing from you soon. If you need to call us, you can call us at (415) 407-9297 or if you would like to email us you can email nessnessva@gmail.com .

Sincerely yours,
Nicholas Feldman and Vanessa Castro

Yo Mr. Cube

Yo Mr. Cube,



I am writing to you with a heart-wrenching story. My company provides services to people with special needs. I have recently run across a beautiful sad 7 year old boy, with a serious developmental disability.



Recently, overnight, the boy’s caregiver died of pneumonia overnight. This left him in a state of grief with a disability that will not let him express himself at his young age in a constructive way.



The boy loves to dance and move, particularly to your music. It actually livens him up and calms him down. He would love nothing more than to dance all day. This boy is challenged not only by his disabilities, but having to go to school in a very urban environment which causes him to act out.



I have an idea to regain his beautiful smile, if you could take a little time out of your busy schedule to go get down with him at school, it would lift his spirits and leave memories that would last a lifetime.



As for me, I am 31 and I own my own business. I have a physical disability called Cerebral Palsy and have been going to college perusing a career and I deal with my own disability on a daily basis. I have lost people in my life before, role models, good friends, and yes, like this little boy, I have lost a few care-givers. There is no real description to the grief. Except to say, that you lost someone who has helped you out and you will never get a chance to see them or to talk to them again.



From your music and your lyrics, I know that you know about death and dying in the African American Community. In all my years of doing this type of work, I see no one better than you as a role model for this child.



Please help him,



Nicholas Feldman

Yo Mr.Cube

Home Care Leads

One of my frustrations which I hope all my readers can help me with is how to find leads for my home care business.I really need to find people who can pay our rates and have a somewhat regular schedule. It's a lot to ask for, but if you could throw a few of these my way I would be really grateful.

Nick

Holiday Hell has Arrived

I hate the holidays. Too much family, too many expectations, and too much food. Not to mention the whole materialistic thing. I just don't understand why people won't stop believing in Santa Claus when in reality Santa Claus does not exist. And so...bleh!

My business seems to stop over the holidays. I've heard others say the same before. Traveling people everywhere. Kids, because there's no school. People get wacky because of the anxiety of it all.

That's all I've got to say about it.