Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Public Advocates: Do they help or do they hurt?

Having a disability and having to navigate through the systems of Medicaid and Social Security almost always brings people with disabilities to a point where an Independent Living Center (ILC) is necessary to navigate through information requested by our government in order to maintain appropriate benefit status.

In a world where the economy is in the toilet, people with disabilities are feeling this also, from threatening cutbacks to Medicaid services and Social Security. Of course these cuts are targeted at people with disabilities who are on a fixed income and could work if given the proper information and assistance. Every ILC will pledge to have benefits counselors, information referral specialists, technology assistance, and independent living skills training. When the dust clears from the person getting to their local ILC, they are disappointed because the person who is supposed to help is overwhelmed, underpaid, and sometimes even undereducated. They tell people myths that if you work, you will lose your benefits, so just sit back and collect their benefits and do nothing. When people with disabilities find themselves face to face with an advocate, the advocate will typically meet with the person and basically make the person do all of the legwork (pardon the pun). It seems to be that the only way people get this solved is not with the help of the advocate, but eventually the perseverance or severity of the situation.

Almost every ILC that I’ve been to had a job placement counselor, but they just make people look through classified ads, fill out a master application for employment, and send them on their way. They do not prep people with disabilities for interviews, call potential employers, or, most importantly, tell people with disabilities their rights to work. People in today’s world need to be able to work now. In my past I’ve had people tell me “Oh, we will not have any job placement counseling available for two years.” They just said that my disability was severe, and what job would I get if I need a personal attendant? They never told me about work incentive programs or other resources that would have been helpful in obtaining a job. Typically, it is assumed that disabled people don’t want to work because of the lack of incentives and the threat of losing benefits, or even housing. Advocates need to stand up and realize that people with disabilities need to work now, and that legislation needs to be put through so that people’s benefits are not interrupted by constant threats to loss of benefits and loss of Social Security. I do believe that if someone is making over $80,000 a year, they have every right and responsibility to help pay for their care, but should be able to buy in to their benefits. These days, some advocates just seem to want statistics and not really help the clientele that they serve. It is important to recognize that ILC’s are drifting away from the reality of what people with disabilities really need. There is no more funding for peer support and horrible cutbacks across the board in the State of California and other parts of the country as well. I guess it’s time for advocates to look at themselves and say “Advocates: what are we good for?” I will hope the answer will not be “absolutely nothing.”

Nicholas Feldman resides in Berkeley, California with his fiancée. Nicholas received his B.A. and minor from UC Berkeley and currently runs Dare to Dream Attendant Services, a home care service that provides in-home care to all people with disabilities.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

My Life Is...


...nothing but carnage!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Crazy Life

My life is so crazy right now.

My girlfriend and I got into a big fight, and now I don't know whether or not she will move in with me. She and I have been together for 6 years, and we are both guilty of holding onto feelings and not being able to accept each other's differences and opinions. My life is up in the air because she is making me wait on her decision despite many inconveniences. I am also in the process of moving to my new office, and my internet is down at home.

Anyone reading this should contact me, as I am really in need of friends and support with all of this turmoil. I wake up too early, I have nightmares, and I'm always stressed. I will begin to write more when things are calm again. I am afraid to lose 6 years of a relationship over one argument, but then again, life has to go on. I am also afraid to be living alone and having to be on my own again. My new house is nice, but I really want my girlfriend to move in with me. If we do end up going our separate ways, it will force us to go through 6 years of crap, and separate her stuff from my stuff. What a bummer. We are both very hardheaded and very detemined, and there's a lot to be said for both of those qualities.

I just keep thinking, "why is it all happening right now?" and, "why does this have to be so hard?" I have to go give a speech next week, not to mention get a ramp installed, pack, move, find some new attendants, get my internet working at home, start graduate school online, and not have a nervous breakdown in the process, and I am close.

I hope this is not the end...

Monday, August 4, 2008

Berkeley and LSD

LSD and Berkeley seem to go hand in hand. I do not think LSD is necessarily a bad thing, or a good thing, but an experience that is what it is for those who choose to indulge. Like most other things, if you do not do it in moderation, it will rot your brain, and affect your longterm memory, and really screw up your mind. I know of a fight (a duel, perhaps) about ten years ago. Two potheads got into a fight, and one was on LSD. Ten years later, one of the people did not remember anything about the incident, and then one day, all of a sudden, right here in Berkeley, came up to his forgotten enemy and it all came whooshing back. I don't know, I don't judge crazy Berkeley, it saddens me, though that two grown men cannot come to peace, and let bygones be bygones. I remember I was at a protest once, and someone yelled, "peace, love, and LSD," but a lot of the other protesters were saying, "hey, don't talk like that, it's illegal!"

Well, I think that's the problem with this country: people don't talk it out. They don't look each other in the eye. They don't talk shit to each other, and then they don't have the ability to rise above their egos, and admit when people are wrong, and in the end, there's no peaceful closure. This is a hard world to live in, a hard time, and one hell of a society. It saddens me that I rarely see people come to terms with each other. If people got a long more, and forgave each other, I think they'd have much better trips.

That fight that I spoke of, happens every day. Even in Berkeley, where we are so liberal, and yet...people who call themselves men, really act like big kids. Maybe it's part of their trip. Maybe it's part of reality. Maybe it's the monitor melting into the desk, or seeing M&Ms when you look at yourself in the mirror, or hearing the radio through the microwave. Maybe Jimi Hendrix really is on the fence over there, and then maybe my CP gets better on this trip, but the bottom line is, folks, we're all on this trip together, and the journey would be a hell of a lot more fun if we could all put aside our differences, and just get along. Just imagine how easy it would be to come down from a high if everyone had the same vision...I can't save the world, and I can't tell people what to do, but I think that when you can come to terms with differences, it shows who the real men are, and it shows that as a group, even if it's a small group of people, we can change the world together. Also, if people choose to live in the park (People's Park), they should all respect each other. It's a historic place in Berkeley, and should be treated as such.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Today Was a Crazy Day

Today was crazy.

The woman who I hired did not show up for training, my office assistant was sick, one of my attendants got a wage garnishment, and I got two new clients. My money that I was supposed to get did not show up.

Later

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

A Few Words

Busy.

Tired.

Getting ready to go to LA.

Wondering what's in store?

Monday, June 9, 2008

Why Are Mondays Always Crazy?

Good question, but no good answers.

My office elevator was down when I got there. I got a couple new clients, but it was a crazy Monday! I will write more tomorrow.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Meeting New People

Today I met five people. I hired a few of them to work for me on a personal care base program. I hope that these people will work out.



I had lunch at the Vietnamese restaurant, and ordered shrimp rolls. I had a few drinks when I came home. I had a good dinner.

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Many people have problems with getting IHSS in Alameda county. Unfortunately, I am now one of those people. Despite being cleared by Medi-Cal, IHSS is refusing to pay. I have been using my personal income to pay for IHSS, and it's not fair. Let me know your input,

Nick

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Grandma Passed Yesterday

Louise Bennett passed away peacefully on Wednesday June 4, 2008 with her family at her bedside. Born October 1, 1920, in Columbia, South Carolina, she married James Bennett and moved to Baltimore, Maryland. In addition to raising a family, she spent a rewarding career in public service. She worked for the State of Maryland, was an assistant to Senator Charles MacMathias, and served in the White House through 4 administrations. Her last position was as a protocol officer for the State Department. She moved to Santa Monica 8 years ago and served as a school volunteer at the Getty Center and Villa. A true Southern lady, she would light up a room with her wonderful smile and gracious demeanor and truly touched all who knew her. She is survived by her two daughters, Jayne Bennett and Julie Feldman and her son in law Richard Feldman and grandson Nicholas Feldman.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The Lunatics

People come into our lives, and we don't realize how crazy they are! One fine day a lunatic showed up at my door and I gave him a job helping me roll over at night. It wasn't too long before my little Yorkshire Terrier would be up for hours while this man would talk.

Over the years I grew to understand this man who used the "n word," not because of the meaning of the word, but because of the shock value it contained. The man contained vulgarity and shock and a whole lot of cussing, but underneath the shell of the man was the ego that knew everything and the man people would see as an outcast who sat in bars for hours and drank whiskey straight. Who bet at the dog track, not to win money, but just to tell everyone how right he was. He had trouble dealing with the years of abuse as a child, and the inability to be touched. I think I have known this friend for quite some time, and I consider him a brother. He lost a brother to AIDS, who he still talks to. I think that people deserve to be looked at under their shell, where you can find out who people really are as people. We don't do this enough as a society. We must do more to ensure that everyone gets a fair, equal life full of passion and love. We must also not let the man drive us crazy, and yes, I have been driven to that point, but like he rolls me over, and I hang in there, and not because I want to, but because I feel compelled. I know there are others who bother the man who gets in the way of his thoughts and feelings. Yes, folks, he hates cell phones and computers, he cusses at the bureaucrats, and he tells it like it is, even when you don't want to hear it. Well, I have to come up with 10,000 dollars, and the driver to drive me to LA in the coming weeks. The man won't go with me; he is too torn up inside, but he will fill my ears when I get back of all the apartment cleaning he did while I was gone (his own apartment). If you have the opportunity, I ask that you think about my grandma for a minute: she has brain cancer, and this is her final journey. She is at home and comfortable.